Running faster

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It looks like iam driving so fast up the highway... and turning the wheel a little bit too strong will send me out of the road.

Iam having real trouble keeping up in pace with the whole me. But I feel like I can keep up with it. I know, it´s just difficult. And it should be also inspiring, and challenging and it is.. so much my mind could explode at any moment. As always, I spend more time trying to evade my mind than concentrating...

Otherwise I won´t see the light in days, as I did last week. And Light has to touch my skin. It´s healthy. It´s a need.

Dyeing my lungs black is not gonna help for long. But for the time beign it does and I hate it =) . I sincerely do.

Am not weak. Don´t need to be for now. Not all the time.

So Iam busy beign busy and my sanity is in the edge. Whatever. I´ll be there anyways.

I just cant call. I just... cant . I wonder if he will understand, if someone would.

I do.

Not calling, not thinking too much, heals my mind. Cures my brain. I know things are not going all right. But they will somehow.

As I can´t do what I want at the moment, and I am trying everyday for it to change.

I gotta go to make another list. Another one to go.

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