Implosion

Lately I started to dream about Japan again. And again Iam in the airport....unable to go... Iam still crying, desparate, lyng down on the floor... hitting the concrete and looking for a way to reach it. And I don´t know why.
I though I knew what did those dreams meant. but actually I don´t.

I thought they meant I wanted to go to Japan, so I did. But.. maybe it has some other meaning to me.... since I know what´at the other side of the plane. At the other side of the world.



I felt like I wanted to conquer it. I just don´t know how...?

I haven´t taken care of my weights , my ghosts, my own demons...just yet. And I see them everywhere. And I felt the injustice so deep in my heart.... it´s starting to turn black..

Why do I have to carry other´s demons... Why do I have to carry other´s mistakes...?

Each niddle hurt as a whole.

The degree of ignorance can match my naive nature is just too high to live...

As little and insignificant I felt to you.. I feel to others.... am I?

My room is just a bunch of little memories... piled up in pure disaster.

Why just.. can´t learn my lessons in time? When Iam suppossed to.

Just travelling arround life is going to lead me to nowhere. When Iam in Madrid I feel I stopped.

All the things I need to do.... so easy to reach them with my hand.

Let me reach....