Smoke out of the teapot

I didnt focus enough during all this time. Hurting instead of being strong and fight back life. Many views had changed inside me in a positive way and for the first time Iam going on. Even if I haven´t yet fulfill all my expectatives.

I had to carefully listen to real advices, to myself. Not giving in to the caos in my mind or feelings.
I already have accepted this emotional caos won´t dissapear.It will be a constant war. But that mayhem is a brew of creativity.



Like a yonki I did blindly seek for some peace inside, emotional drug to numb my senses. but that is not living. At least is not how I want it to be. I was desperate, thinking about how others could see me. Creating an image of myself taken from pieces of other people´s views.

I hate myself too much to use my own tools.

Light its at the end of the tunnel, even if there are still many ropes to knot. Many dark corners, and a lot of dirty under the carpet. Crossing the bridges that keep me apart from everyone else.

I recently learned how to fight by myself as I neved did, and the source of many of the simple problems that kept decaying inside for years.

I took a decision.