Whatever
0
No more pictures for the moment. Lately, Iam not able of looking at the remaining pictures in my phone.
I should be happy but Iam troubled instead.
As I am usually told, I like my business to go well. And who not....But Iam specially worried about things not working.
I just remembered that I should make a presentation about myself. In spanish and english..and in Japanese, of course.
I always had trouble with this. To define myself. I highly notice of those people who don´t have a problem with it. Just type out some lines speaking about 4 or 5 things.
But I have real trouble with that, and even if I try hard, only silly, really lame and not accurate things come out.
Tsk. I would like to have someone to hint those for me, or be able to remake myself. The little problem is that person doesn´t exist and I turn my newself into something quite stupid.
I should really think about that, don´t have much time. Things are going fast, as I wanted and needed them to be.
I was reminded a few days ago about nostalgic feelings. Yeah,those I try not to think much about. I remember myself, looking at the wood-strapped ceiling and its white paint, the sound and scent of the sea, and someone besides me, knowing it was sunday. I thought, "That´s it, this is the rest of my life. And it looks like I´ll be happy".
Never considered myself as a person who was scared of compromising. But it seems he was right, I truly am.
Voilá. The secret ingredient comes out at last.
But as clear as I have that memory in mind, I have the certainty that I want that no more.
Today I was reminded to search my inner-self to find some brand new leftover of our well-known and old dude, called simple and plain trust.
I don´t even remember I met him.
"Why is it so hard to trust?" I heard today from someone who was crying. And it wasn´t me. I wasn´t considering something like that with my heart. Just with my mind, and I was wrong so many times.
This time I dont´have real proof. Just hints of it. Not real proof that Iam capable to reach perfection in what I pretend to live for. Not real proof that I can belive into something that never happened before.
But I am not asking myself for faith. Just trust. I was required for that during my first trip to Japan.
That´s one of the things that Japan taught me. To trust. And it felt so good. I felt how it really was not really needing an answer. Not really needing any proof, because in this life, you hardly get to see everything, and I realized, that sometimes you don´t need it.
But it´s harder to believe in myself. Whatever, Iam gonna do it.
Not half-hearted. Not a cautelous and forceful trust. Just a pure and plain one. Not reasoning it too much. I must listen to my heart. I was ignoring his voice way too much till now. So much I stopped hearing it, and many times I made it scream.
I am gonna listen to it, and wait paciently till I can hear its voice again.
Earth starts spinning....now
I should be happy but Iam troubled instead.
As I am usually told, I like my business to go well. And who not....But Iam specially worried about things not working.
I just remembered that I should make a presentation about myself. In spanish and english..and in Japanese, of course.
I always had trouble with this. To define myself. I highly notice of those people who don´t have a problem with it. Just type out some lines speaking about 4 or 5 things.
But I have real trouble with that, and even if I try hard, only silly, really lame and not accurate things come out.
Tsk. I would like to have someone to hint those for me, or be able to remake myself. The little problem is that person doesn´t exist and I turn my newself into something quite stupid.
I should really think about that, don´t have much time. Things are going fast, as I wanted and needed them to be.
I was reminded a few days ago about nostalgic feelings. Yeah,those I try not to think much about. I remember myself, looking at the wood-strapped ceiling and its white paint, the sound and scent of the sea, and someone besides me, knowing it was sunday. I thought, "That´s it, this is the rest of my life. And it looks like I´ll be happy".
Never considered myself as a person who was scared of compromising. But it seems he was right, I truly am.
Voilá. The secret ingredient comes out at last.
But as clear as I have that memory in mind, I have the certainty that I want that no more.
Today I was reminded to search my inner-self to find some brand new leftover of our well-known and old dude, called simple and plain trust.
I don´t even remember I met him.
"Why is it so hard to trust?" I heard today from someone who was crying. And it wasn´t me. I wasn´t considering something like that with my heart. Just with my mind, and I was wrong so many times.
This time I dont´have real proof. Just hints of it. Not real proof that Iam capable to reach perfection in what I pretend to live for. Not real proof that I can belive into something that never happened before.
But I am not asking myself for faith. Just trust. I was required for that during my first trip to Japan.
That´s one of the things that Japan taught me. To trust. And it felt so good. I felt how it really was not really needing an answer. Not really needing any proof, because in this life, you hardly get to see everything, and I realized, that sometimes you don´t need it.
But it´s harder to believe in myself. Whatever, Iam gonna do it.
Not half-hearted. Not a cautelous and forceful trust. Just a pure and plain one. Not reasoning it too much. I must listen to my heart. I was ignoring his voice way too much till now. So much I stopped hearing it, and many times I made it scream.
I am gonna listen to it, and wait paciently till I can hear its voice again.
Earth starts spinning....now
